THE FRESNAN

See For Free: Advanced Screening Of 'Red Tails'

George Lucas gets out of his Star Wars/Indiana Jones comfort zone to help tell the true story of the Tuskeegee Airmen in the new film, Red Tails. It opens on Friday but Thursday night there is a special advanced screening at Edwards in River Park at 7:00, and we might be able to get you in for free.

Just follow this link, sign-in (or sign-up then sign-in) to the Gofobo site and hopefully you'll have a pair of passes to print out for Thursday night's screening. We'll try to update this post or leave a comment if we find out all the passes are gone. Otherwise, good luck!

Check out the website and trailer:

The Fresnan Presents: Dorktown Podcast #104 - Coach Fu-Manchu To Become Dr. Boz' Unibrow

Welcome back to another episode of our local (LISTEN LOCAL!) themed podcast: Dorktown. We appreciate the listening, Fresno. This (sorta) Christmas themed episode has some stuff like this:

• The only way to enjoy Christmas Tree Lane is with secret booze.
• Producer Becky and Mikey tension.
• Mikey touches Fierce Creatures' penis.
• Fresno wind damage.
• Fresno Sheriff gets $500 for every confirmed kill?
• Mystery Fresno helicopter.
• Fresno marathon conflicts with porch drinking.
• Review of Yardhouse, Fresno.
• More Christmas lights of Fresno.
• MUSIC BREAK: Achievement House.
• A breakdown of Fresno Mag's 'Best Of Fresno'.
• Fresno State's Coach Fu-Manchu is depressed and is looking for a new job.
• FONZY EYYYS!

To hear that stuff, click and listen to this:

Dorktown Episode 104 - X-Mas Tree Dorks

Please like Dorktown's Facebook. Dorktown on iTunes. Thanks for listening!

Opening music by Trumpet Solo. Pic by Fresno Bee's Gary Kazjaian.

 

Yardhouse: Finally A Reason To Go To River Park

Fresno is now complete. Went to Yardhouse over the weekend.

Food: good. Atmosphere: good (the keg room is especially impressive). Beer: excellent. So I think we're pretty done here people with chain restaurants moving in to town. It's not going to get better than this (we're kinda over waiting for a Dave & Busters), so let's just call it good.

Now, if somebody would get to work on "Fresno's" for us we're set.

Stupid or Awesome?: Fancher Creek Town Center

Last week, the Fresno City Council said yes to the Fancher Creek Town Center. This will be a large development with a mix of retail and housing and will be located near Clovis and Kings Canyon. There will be living spaces atop retail spaces, a movie theater, all kinds of crazy shit.

Sounds pretty awesome, especially to the Sunnyside area folks.

But wait, maybe you haven't heard how it's being described, "... it will rival North Fresno's River Park." Yeah, pretty sick of anything new being described as "Like River Park in ___."

Plus, isn't building huge centers on the edge of town, like River Park, exactly the kinda thing that Fresno needs to avoid doing in the future? Hasn't River Park been around for like ten years or something and they still haven't been able to lease all their spots out? Aren't we trying to get something like this in Downtown Fresno? Isn't Sierra Vista Mall and its newish and not real busy outdoor section only a few miles down the street from Fancher Creek?

But not one council member voted no. Guess when you see potential tax revenue, you kinda forget your plans for Fresno building in and not out.

But hey, who are we to stop the Sunnyside area from gettin' theirs!? They deserve something special. Maybe it is awesome. But then why does it feel so stupid?

[Fancher drawing stolen from Fresno city website]

Bloggiest Moment of the Week: River Park Is Sucking Ass

Did you know that Fuzio in River Park is going to be a Subway? Yeah, seriously. How cheezy, River Park, how herb n' cheezy.

Well, maybe it will be like the ultimate Subway with extra special footlongs. You know, like the Las Vegas Boulevard McDonalds is just a little better than a regular McDonalds, or something.

Unfortunately for River Park they have no choice but to open themselves up to bland businesses like Subway (sorry Jared) because it ain't happenin' there. If you walk around long enough, you'll find plenty of boarded up storefronts around RP... plus you'll find that they sent the V out for repairs.

Blame poor RP management, overpriced rent, economy, Fresnans, Pinedale, Pat Hill's Fu Manchu, whatever, River Park's instability all came to light this week when some dweeb posted some ways on how to save River Park (ways that sounded suspiciously like ones to save some other mall). Then Fresno blogoshpere characters chimed in with their wit and, as a result, we finally got our very own Bloggiest Moment of the Week.

We almost feel sorry for River Park...almost.

Fresno Needs To Open Up River Park Mall To Traffic

You may have heard, Tim Sheenan of the Bee is reporting that Johnny Rockets in River Park is closing. Rockets management says River Park management is encouraging them to leave because Johnny Rockets attracts teens. Plus with the tough economy, Rockets is only breaking even - wasn't worth the fight anymore.

Oh boy, a major restaurant in River Park not making money. Yep, looks like the demise of another outdoor mall in Fresno has begun. But what happened to, um, River Park Mall? We can't blame it all on the economy. There must be other reasons.

That's why we have put together some totally original ideas that will save Fresno's beloved open air mall. They may sound familiar but, umm, like, totally came out of nowhere:

• Better signage directing traffic to parking and where garages are.
• Trim back the trees so we can see the storefronts - too much shade.
• There are too many homeless people teens asking you for money to buy them tickets to a rated R movie, get rid of them.
• Improve nightlife with more restaurants staying open late.
• Too many fountains and too much artwork. Tear it all out, they don't make money.
• Open up lofts above the storefronts. People can live above Wavelengths and Yoshinos, Edwards, Big Dog...
• A river. Yes, build a river that would run through River Park.
• Open the mall to traffic. Fresnans hate to park away from the place they're going too. If people could just drive right up to a Chocolate Factory or Dai Bai Dang or Jamba Juice, business would boom.
• Start a committee to study and conduct some meetings about studying the mall and agree to meet about it.

We are convinced, once these ideas are implemented, they will surely solve Fulton Mall's River Park's problems.

[Disclosure: Tounge was half implanted in cheek during the writing of this post]
[Picture was stolen from Carlos Guzman]

Fres-Video: Fresnans Love To Jerk It

We haven't see Bullard High's own, Jason Glover, doing a Jerkin routine on SYTYCD yet, so we're not sure if that means it's not a real style. Doesn't matter. All we know is there's a lot of Fresno videos of crews doing the jerkin dance style.

This one just might violate River Park's Code Of Conduct...and we love it for that:

(Yeah, it starts gettin' a little old a couple minutes in [That's What She Said].)

Happening Tonight: Bloggers Being Fast and Furious

From the makers of Dumb Drum and SwedeFest comes Gettogether #5 at Me 'n Ed's Coney Island. Forget the reason why, just come out to have a drink with some bloggers. Like these dudes:

See? We told ya we like promoting other people's nerdyass stuff.

What Are You Doing Post Art Hop?

This isn't the best of places to find out what will be the top spots to check out during tonight's ArtHop. Just check here for that stuff. I can tell you the top two things to do in Fresno, post ArtHop:

 1. Kevin Smith's groundbreaking indie nerd flick "Clerks" is tonight's flashback film at Edwards. This movie showed me it's okay to: use your friends in a film, be afraid of going into a dark bathroom, make dick and fart jokes, have long conversations about Star Wars and relationships and how many dudes your girlfriend falatioed before you. I for one can't wait to finally see this Jersey masterpiece on the big screen. DumbDrum.com and LateUpdate.com are having another gettogether beforehand at Me&Ed's across the way from Edwards. I'll let the dudes explain:

2. Tokyo Garden will have its usual post-ArtHop show with a great lineup of Fresno bands. Playing will be Rademacher, Circles and Circles and The Loveseats. Check out the flier here.

What You're Doing Tonight: Just Enough

Even if your boss doesn't say so, Fresno says the weekend starts Thursday night...

If you're a filmmaker or actor, you'll start your night off with the FFF's December Mixer in the Tower District. After that, anybody can head North to Pinedale River Park with Late Update and the DUmb's blogger meetup before the Goonies showing at Edwards. Or, if hanging with bloggers don't vibe with you (we're not as jackassy as we sound, you know), maybe listen to some music at World Sports.

Not feeling 'goonie enough' to stick around for the flick but still want to do something? Well, it's back to the Tower District for a show at Club Fred Audie's Olympic with bands Beandip, Robopop, Belly of the Whale and DJ J-Catch.

Finding ways to give Edwards more money

It was only a matter of time before Edwards hit the ten-dollars-a-pop mark for having the privilege to sit in their movie theater.  Ten dollars isn't enough for me though, I need to impress my date by giving Edwards more cash for a flick. 

How can Fresno's Edwards theater help?

Here's what Edwards came up with:  play a non-IMAX movie in the IMAX theater and make me pay a few extra dollars for it. I'm given the same thing I'd see on the ten dollar screen, but as a added bonus, many speakers have blown tweeters, the projector sounds like a cotton gin, you have to look around people's heads to see the screen, and there's only two long lines to get snacks.

So, you do save some money by not getting a chance to buy Cookie Dough Bites and a bladder damaging soda tub.  But that couple extra bones for a ticket isn't worth all the annoyances just to see a movie on a slightly bigger screen.