THE FRESNAN

Battles!: Save The Fulton Mall Fresnans vs. Traffic The Fulton Mall Fresnans

 

Tonight. From 5 to 8. Two rival Fresno gangs (Save The Fulton Mall Gang and Fulton Mall Traffic Gang) will be locked into one room (probably not locked) at the Downtown Holiday Inn, to finally end the debate for good (nothing will be decided). End the debate of whether or not the mall should be pulled out so cars can drive down the Fulton Mall.

Yeah, okay, so the debate won't end after Monday's meeting (it's really a workshop and less of a debate). But both groups will surely be there and they don't seem to like each other that much and they're going to be forced to "workshop" together. Should be fun. Speaking of fun or whatever, did you see the meeting/workshop on Saturday that kicked off this whole week of Fulton Corridor Plan talk stuff? It turned into a Social Studies class out of nowhere. Seriously, we took this class at City, like, twice. James Collier did a nice live blog post of the whole thing, if you haven't seen. They made people do stuff (HA ha).

The Fulton Mall is maybe the most polarizing (whatever that means) issue in Fresno (well, outside of the debate: Which is better teppanyaki: Yoshino's or Edo-Ya?). It should be a fun night of talking about the mall, even if we're all sick to FUCKING DEATH OF TALKING ABOUT IT.

BATTLES! Lookee Loo vs. Pecha Kucha

Hey man, these are the kinda things that happen when you live in a city as awesome as Fresno. Late Saturday afternoon, folks have two cool and creative choices for live entertainment.

Starting at 4:10, Fresno's Pecha Kucha will be taking part in the world wide Pecha Kucha Day for Haiti. The theme is Rebuild and a list of Saturday's Fresno presenters can be found here. It's happening at Starline again (as controversial as that is). Folks are being asked for a $10 donation, more info can be found at the Pecha site, Creative Fresno or on Facebook.

It'll be interesting to see how well attended this one will be since it isn't on its traditional Monday night.

Also in the Tower District, at almost the same time [4:30], is the 2nd Lookee Loo Film Festival. Local fimmakers were challenged to make a short film in the Asian/KungFu/Action genre and they will be shown at Lookee Loo #2. It'll be in the back room at Revue and we think it's free.

Tough call on which event to go to but either is a nice choice to begin another awesome Fresno night.

BATTLES: Granite Park vs. Running Horse

Which development/property is more fucked up: Granite Park or Running Horse?

Running Horse has:

• A developer with big dreams and bigger promises.
• Everybody losing their ass.
• PGA telling Fresno we'll go elsewhere.
• People suing people.
• A golf course that cannot be played on.
• The Trumpster's on again and off again Fresno affair.
• Weeds and dying trees.
• Maybe new investors in the works.
• Possibilities of being something.

Granite Park has:

• A developer with big dreams and bigger promises.
• Everybody losing their ass. (except maybe Me n' Ed's)
• Sammy Hagar telling Fresno he'll go elsewhere.
• People suing people.
• Rides that cannot be ridden.
• Big assed celebs brought to Fresno.
• Weeds and dying trees.
• New investor getting violent (allegedly) and arrested.
• Possibilities of being something.

We're not sure who wins or loses this one, we just know these properties must be cursed.

Battles [Post Art Hop Edition]: Audie's vs. Tokyo

You may have figured out where you're going for ArtHop tonight, but what about after? Tokyo Garden and Audie's Olympic both have interesting shows and they need to battle it out before we can decide where to go. So let's get it on. One. Two. Threeeee BATTLE:

>Tokyo Garden will have Bay Area band The Aimless Nevermiss and they have a intriguing video we can watch immediately:

"Bound" by The Aimless Never Miss from Jon Pidgeon on Vimeo.

>Audie's Olympic will have So Cal band Cheetahsaurus. Recently the Ventura County Reporter tab them as "...possibly the only band ever to ever make aggressive use of the autoharp." I don't know why, but I like that.

THE FRESNAN PRESENTS: BATTLES - FREDDIE VS. TIMEOUT

Now that we've got all that amazingly cool stuff out of the way, it's time to decide some real issues. Something that should be important to every Fresnan. Which mascot is better: Freddie Falcon or Timeout? Sorry Parker, you just haven't been around long enough.

One. Two. Three. BATTLE!

• Freddie is a bird of prey. Timeout is a canine of laziness.
• Timeout was all yoked out and is now back to being kinda silly. Freddie put fear into young children but is now all big bird-ey - still kinda scary.
• The real Timeout has a Myspace page. Freddie thinks Myspace is stupid but is on it anyway.
• Freddie is pretty good on skates. Timeout is pretty good with cheerleaders.
• Timeout works all over campus and lives in a doghouse. Freddie is part of Downtown's revitalization and has a nest in Selland Arena's rafters.
• Freddie's main rival is a condor. Timeout's is a blue bronco named "Buster" - Buster is third on the Mascot Power rankings... seriously.

Winner after you click and continue...

BATTLES: ROLLER GIRRLS VS FS FOOTBALL

Fresno. Saturday night you have two major sporting choices: Watch Fresno State play Idaho or watch Fresno's Smog City Roller Grrls match up against Central Coast. I love both choices. Each have their good and bad points.

Sounds like we need a good old Fresnan style: BATTLE

• Fresno State game will have tailgating with barbecue, beer and drunks roaming around looking for port-a-johns. Roller Grrls... I guess you could tailgate in the Convention Center parking garage, if you keep it on the DL.
• Fresno State game will have Smash Mouth playing at Bulldog Blvd. Roller Grrls will have Patrick Contreras playing during one of the breaks.
• Fresno State game will have plenty of food and drinks on the inside (just no alcohol). The Roller Grrls bout will have some food and plenty of beer or mix drinks.
• Fresno State game will have Pat Hill and his FuManchu roaming the sidelines. The Roller Grrls will have Lola La Chola roaming the stands.
• Fresno State game will have possible future NFL stars like Ryan Mathews. The Roller Grrls will have current superstar Betty Rocker.
• Fresno State game tickets cost $25 to $50. Roller Grrl tix are $12 before, $15 at door.
• Fresno State game has bouncy cheerleaders. Roller Grrl bout has the possibility of wardrobe malfunctions in the heat of a bout.

Tough, tough, tough call. Decision after we continue...

BATTLES: SLEEPOVER DISASTER VS. RADEMACHER

Alright Fresnan readers, it's time again for a Fresno battle. In this corner we have Rademacher. In the other corner, The Sleepover Disaster. Bands, I want a good clean Fresnan fracas. One, two, three, BATTLE!

• Rademacher has heavy indie beards.  Sleepover's are pretty weighty too.
• Rademacher has played South by Southwest.  Sleepover Disaster?  Yes.  Twice.
• Rademacher practically owns Tokyo Garden. Sleepover shows up at any venue.
• Rademacher's guitarist makes funny videos. The Disaster makes cool in studio videos.
• Rademacher has a live CD. Sleepover Disaster is on several live comps.
• Rademacher sounds like "...fuckin' badass america music". Sleepover is "Shoegazy rock goodness."
• Rademacher has tons of glowing reviews. So does Sleepover Disaster.
• Rademacher has blogger cred. Sleepover has a slick website.

Battle winner after the break:

Drink For a Good Cause...for once

On any given night, you might go out and knock back a few with your buddies.  You start having some fun and you knock back even more.  Before you know it, somebody is calling you a cab as you hurl all over your spiffy new shoes.

Now, how does this little bit of debauchery help the city?  Or, a charity?  It doesn't.  Well, maybe you helped a local business with your booze purchases, a little.  But who else did you help?  Fucking nobody, ya drunk.

Tonight, it's time to turn your debauchery into charitable giving.

Come check out our own Devoya Mayo (hey, one post qualifies as a blogger here) as she battles DJ Heinz in a Bartender Challenge starting at 6:30 at Palomino's in the Tower District.  They make your drink, you give them a nice tip, and that tip goes to Creative Fresno's mural project.

Not getting this challenge thing?  Here's a better video explanation of what a bartender challenge is all about.

BATTLES: WARREN VS. RICH

Because we love new segments here at The Fresnan: "BATTLES".  We take two similar Fresno things and have them battle - Valley Floor style bitch!  - I don't know what that means either.

Our first combatants:  Channel 24's Rich Rodriguez and ABC 30's Warren Armstrong.

• Warren gets to gaze upon Graciela while at work.  Rich gets to see Stefani Boo' check breasts.
• Warren has been a Fresno Famous person.  Rich is famous for singing in local karaoke bars.  
• Warren has a full head of hair.  Oh, wait, so does Rich.
• Warren is rumored to have read the Fresnan.  Rich is a Crime Stopper.
• Warren is from Wooster, Ohio.  Rich is a valley boy (Exeter).

Well hell, this is a even match.  Rich is from here and is a pretty good singer (I've heard him, he's not bad).  But Warren pops up on Fresno's blogsphere...we like that.  Results after you click below.