Snitch Snitchy: You Stupid Little Local Bloggers Have Been Cruising For Far Too Long

It's pretty likely you've seen the whole Starline being shut down for the under 21 crowd, thing. And you probably have also seen that, come to find out, it was local promoter, Rick Mirsnitchian, pulling Starline's Conditional Use Permit (CUP) and alerting local authorities that Starline (and some other places that have dancing like Rick's clubs do) may be technically pushing the boundaries of their permits.

We say bravo to Mirsnitchian. That's capitalism (or something). Get in good with local officials then, you know, maybe, politely point out some things your competition is doing that may be questionable. Concerned citizen. How nice and civic.

So then we're thinking "how do we incorporate this business model to the local blogging world? How do WE handcuff our blogging competition?"

Step one: Get in good with local government. Well, we're totally Ashley Swearengin's friend on Facebook and there's this one time we met Councilman Henry T, so we're in. Step two: Open up the books on all our blogging competitors and point out to our government-y friends, the violations we see:

• Edward Stewart: The dude blatantly ignores all rules of capitalization. Been doing it FOR YEARS. [re: fresno blogger code 11.a]
• Fresno Famous: Ad-post-to-real-post ratio is way off. You can't let every douchebag post their crap on your site and not be taxed or in violation. Also, there's not nearly enough cussing on there and we need to see a return of Marylin. [RE: Back In The Day Fresno Blog Code 1.a]
• Dumb Drum: For a blog that's all things nerd, there is far too little Star Wars related posts. That's not living up to their Conditional Use Permit, for sure. [RE: THX1138 Code]
• Fresno Beehive: Far too many posts about TV shows that don't relate to Fresno. [RE: Rick Bentley Code 22]
• This Is Conlan: Writes way too well and is too sharp to be a local blogger. It's frustrating. [RE: Don't Be Smart Code 18.b]
• Bench Dog: Pulled a Brett Farve without expressed written consent of the NFL. [RE: Never Say Never Code 7]
• Central Valley Moms: Moms only blog. That can't be right. What about daddy? Okay there was that one douche but there hasn't been a post recently. [RE: Reverse Title 9 Code 1.B]
  

There's plenty more but that ought to keep Mayor Swear' and Chief Dome busy for a bit. Looking forward to having less competition for original posts around here.