With all the talk last week of our city being not so smart, ya might have missed (lucky you) the report that Fresno native Kevin Federline trashed his rental and irked his landlord's ire. So much so, his now ex-landlord says K-Fed owes over 100,000 in back rent and repair costs from the damage he did to the home.
Thankfully (or regretfully) TMZ or some site, obtained the list of damages K-Freznan inflicted on his rental home. After reading through the list, we couldn't help but wonder "Where did Kevin learn to be such a dipshit? Was it from his Fresno upbringings or has Hollywood and Brittney caused him to be such a douche?"
So we decided to make the list into a bloggy type game. Lets break down each offense from his rental and see which was a bigger influence on Kevin's trashy ways: Fresno or Hollywood?
A broken beer dispenser on the barbecue island.
DECISION: Fresno. Of course a Fresno native is going to have a barbecue and it's only a matter of time before you get too plastered to operate a beer tap and break it.
Gutters full of cigarette butts and empty beer bottles.
DECISION: Neither. The beer bottle thing could have come from any American city but we have no idea where throwing butts in gutters comes from (Don't they have a street sweeper in Tarzana?).
Permanent spit marks on the outside of the house.
DECISION: Hollywood. We've never witnessed a person here, spiting on any walls (interior or exterior), so this must have come from K-Fed's "crew" giving him such a feeling of self-importance that he would go so far as to spit on walls.
Broken light covers, bent light posts, broken dishwasher and broken tiles.
DECISION: Fresno. Because we've had to pay for exactly those things on several of our apartment rentals around town. Sorry Reflections, Arbors, North Creek and several friend's apartment complexes.
A room that was turned into a studio (without the owners’ permission).
DECISION: Hollywood. He simply would not have had the money to do such a thing without meeting Brit in Hollywood - Ohhh the magic that must have been recorded in that studio.
Dead trees and plants due to failure to water.
DECISION: Fresno. We're sure Kevin was just trying to save water for our Westside growers.
Drawings all over the walls.
DECISION: Hollywood. We just hope the drawings are from his various children (Hollywood spawned kids). If they're from Kevin himself, then we say it's his Fresno graffiti tagger influence.
Front driveway oil-leak damage.
DECISION: Fresno/Clovis. The Fresno area has the highest amount of dudes working on their cars in the driveway, per-capita, than any other city.
Master Bathroom windows tinted without owners' permission.
DECISION: Fresno. Growing up in the valley teaches you two things: Tint all windows to block out the hotass sun and to be ashamed of your body.
That's the list and if you do the math, we have Fresno "winning" over Hollywood as the worst influence on Kevin.
Dammit.
[Photo GQ]
