THE FRESNAN

Taste the Fresno Stereotypes

In 1986 a miniseries Spoofing nighttime soaps (starring Carol Burnett) played on CBS. That spoof was set in Fresno and it took every Fresno stereotype Californians had about Fresno and showed them to the whole country (thanks for that you fuckheads). Unfortunately (or fortunately), this miniseries has never come out on DVD and is a rare find on video - and forget about beta. Luckily, there is YouTube. Thank you AntiMusick for posting a link to this Famous in Fresno Miniseries on FresnoFamous.com:

Mother Nature Attacks Fresno

Yes, Fresno can get kinda nerdy when we have real weather roll through.  Hey, we're pretty much natural disaster free around here [knock on wood], so it's exciting when the occasional thunderstorm hits us.  Here's Monday's:

Monday Hangover: I did nothing

Here were are.  Monday again and it sucks ass.  At least I don't have a hangover.  Actually that's bad because that means I did nothing really. 

Like, I didn't go to Hover High and follow girls into the bathroom.  Or play flag football.  Fall on my ass skating at Edison.  Didn't battle at Four Walls West (well, it used to be called that).  I did watch Boise run all over Fresno State but I didn't dance with this guy.

Oh, and I didn't get Sick Of It All at The Exit:

Fresgeek Weekend #3

Let's look at what a Fresnan might do this weekend:

FRIDAY:

MidMajor teams and cities, Fresno and Boise, battle it out on national television and in Bulldog Stadium, Friday night.  If you've got a kid playing High School Football, you're fucked.

• Also at Fresno State...hockey...the ECHL kind.
• Legends of Hardcore "Sick of it All" and "Madball" will teach The Exit crowd all about their Hardcore history.

SATURDAY:

• Hook up with some Fresno filmaking nerds at the Fresno Filmmakers Forum.
• Evening Eclectic hits The Crossroads again, I think I heard about it somewhere.
• Rural Madera (also known as Little Okie) rocks out in a barn. 
• Get some more cowbell at the Falcons game.
• Meet some fine Roller Grrls at Die Hardz.

is Thursday night the weekend?

There's so much live music going on in Fresno each week it could fill J-Lo's butt-crack.  Even on Thursdays.  Come join The Fresnan Thursday night to see Fresno, Madera and LA bands kill Club Fred.

And, if you have a bit too much of the sauce, you can always get a Fresno style cab ride home:

Fresno Docu is coming

Entandem Productions has been working on a documentary film about something close to The Fresnan's crotch heart:  Fresno.  They've released a clip from it so you can a feel for it before it's released.  Peep it:

The Monday [evening] Hangover

Another addition of the Monday Hangover; a review of what went down in the world of A Fresnan this past weekend...

Very sporty this weekend.  Watched the Bulldogs take a couple quarters to start kicking San Jose's ass, but before that, the Fresno Falcons had problems scoring:

Fresno High preps for Hillary Clinton

Are you going?  Did you go?  Go see Hillary Clinton visit Fresno High?  I'm sooo glad she picked (or whoever picked for her) Fresno High and not some lame Clovis Unified school.

Since The Fresnan can't be there on Monday, we went and check out what was doin' at Fresno High the night before.  Check out the roadies, local media, Clinton workers and random Fresno High kids, helping setup the stage for Hillary's Fresno visit:

A FRESGEEK WEEKEND #2

Back again with an example of what a Fresnan might be doing this weekend.

FRIDAY:

• This is the big one to The Fresnan, Fresno Falcons' season opening game against Las Vegas at the small-seated big arena of Save Mart Center.
• Bigass football showdown between top ranking Bullard and Edison at the Chucker.
• See a movie that there's no way in HELL you'd see otherwise at Tower Theater.
• Find out once and for all who is the better guitarist, all happening at Starline.
• English Beat fans will fill Club Fred.

SATURDAY:

• Why go to a regular yard sale and buy some regular person's crap when you can by an independent radio station's crap!?  KFCF Rummage sale from 8 to 1 in their parking lot.
• Fresno State vs San Jose game tailgating will begin @ 10:00 AM at Bulldog Stadium.  Ten, people.  Get drunk and talk about the sweet stuff you rummaged at KFCF and how you're still not sold on Tommy Brandstater.
• The Bulldogs squeak by the Spartans, it's six o'clock and you're fuggin' starved.  A good Fresnan would go over to the Bulldog Grill and have a tri-tip samitch.
• You've got your third wind from this morning's tailgating and you need to hear some Fresno metal, mixed with some nationally known metal.  You're going to The Exit to see HateFX opening for Drowning Pool.

SUNDAY:

• For Bubba sake, get some sleep.  Sleep children.  You know how you always say to yourself "I could just sleep all day."?  Well DO IT DAMMIT.  Just stay in bed and sleep the day away.  Hells that sounds good.

Tomodachi - A review...sorta

The Fresnan isn't the best at reviewing stuff...yet, here we are. Went to a semi-new place in Fig Garden Village called Tomodachi. It's a kinda Japanese fast food place.

Several dishes on the menu, mostly involving chicken and rice bowls. Mine was perfect and you can see it in the video. But, apparently, they've just changed the menu and that particular bowl is gone. That sucks, you Tomodachi sons-a-bitches.

Ahh well, check out the video anyways. (Told ya we suck at reviewing)

Clovis: It's a WALMART Way Of Life

Clovis Mayor Bob Whalen, and Clovis City Councilmen Nathan Magsig and Jose Flores, have no backbones. Those three spineless Clovisians gave the okay for NatziMart WalMart to expand their Empire into Northern Clovis and send several Clovis grocery stores (and who knows what else) into future closure.

Nice job. Wouldn't expect anything more from Clovis. But, to be fair, most every American city's government does the same dumbass thing.  They don't protect us from ourselves by stopping WalMart . Stopping WalMart from taking over our retail lives.

But, in the end, it's up to us. That means you too North Clovis. It's up to us to not shop in that black-hole of a store. A store that sucks the life out of local retail. It's real easy to stop this though and you don't need some lame City Councilman.

Just don't go guys.  Is that so hard? Just don't go. There's nothing in there you can't get somewhere else, children. Clovis, are you really going to let a life sucker to be a part of your way of life?

A Fresno entertainment first

Finally somebody got some balls.  This has been a longtime coming for Fresno and give this Chris dude some credit for having the guts to start this.  What the hell is this you say? 

It's a variety talk show done locally over the internets  It's out of Fresno and called "The So Late It's Early Show" with Chris.  And as far as starts go, it's off to a bumpy but good one.  I've been really waiting for a Fresnan to start something like this and I'm excited to watch it progress.  Hell, lets watch the progress now!

PART ONE and then PART TWO below:

NOW CHECK OUT PART THREE!

Monday Hangover Report: All Good Things...end

Welcome to The Fresnan's first Monday Morning Hangover post; A brief report on the Fresno weekend that was.

Friday:  The final night of Bryan Zera playing drums for Fresno band All Good Things (and final administering of a little website called Fresno Famous).  Here's some video of Bryan's swan drum - there's no video of Bryan's final administering of FresnoFamous, cuaaaze that would be boring...

Saturday:  Fresno State came through with a solid win at Idaho and a new appreciation for the grand Kibbie Dome:  the Pacific Northwest's kibbiest dome.

New Fresno restaurant Pangea was checked.  Cool atmosphere (even with the yuppies).  Food was good but in small portions so you're encouraged to purchase several dishes and share with others.  Not sure if Fresnan's will go for that, but with the quality of the food, Pangea might overcome the small portions.  And yes, there were several packs of Cougars roaming, drinking and looking for juicy meat.

Battle of the Bands at Babylon was a dud by the time The Fresnan showed...every band had already battled...Vini's patio was too enthralling - hells bells that place gets packed.

Sunday:  Nothin' but kickin' tree and garage crap to the curb for Operation Clean Up.  Followed by football, baseball playoffs and family dinners. 

What did YOU do with your Fresnan weekend?  Leave a comment ya foos.

INDIANA "FRESNO" JONES UPDATE:  Brodie Mash has some more Indi stuff from Chandler Airport....hells dammit, out blogged again!

BeeHive out nerded by Merced Sun Star?

Sure, I'd say you're "nerding out" if you caught a glimpse of the Crystal Skull filming at Fresno's Chandler Airport this week.  But did you take it a step farther and go to the Dos Palos location and see the filming there?  Better yet, did you ask Dos Palosians (who knows if that's the right term) what they thought of Indiana Jones maybe being in there town?

Heather Mclane still wins the nerd off.  And, The Fresnan would just like to say that we will be forever bitter that we got out-nerded by Beehive and the Merced Sun Star (the later really hurts). Instead, all The Fresnan got were these lousy pictures of the catering tent being torn down and  possible remaining set pieces.  Ass!  Hey, they're damn exclusive photos though...damn exclusive...and nerdy.   Hey, maybe it's even nerdier to show up after and take pics.  Fresnan wins.

UPDATE: LateUpdate.com has some pictures and accounts from Chandler Airport, check it. If you have something Fresno Jones related, get it to us!

UPDATED VIDEO FROM BRODIE MASH:

Fresno Jones update...updated

Getting some video in of the Fresno Jones and the Kingdom Of The Westside shoot at Fresno's Chandler Airport.  It's just set pieces but, it's something.  Oh, and yes, Harrison, Lucas and Steven were all in town ...and also in town...Weird Al?

Keep us updated if you can Fresno. I'd be there all day trying to squirrel my way in there but I've got a damn day job like Heather Mclane.

UPDATED VIDEO FROM BRODIE MASH: