THE FRESNAN

Just Checking In: "Fresno" Disrespecting Axl Rose

It's been a while since we caught up with the Brazilian rockers with the most awesomest name in music: Fresno. In case you don't know them, they are the alt/power-pop rockers that were the biggest band in Brazil for 2009. Seems the name Fresno is being pretty world class for them.

We still hope and pray to all-that-would-be-funny-as-hell that "Fresno" comes to play Fresno someday. Any local promoters wanna take a stab at bringing them here? It would totally be sweet (even if they don't have fans here), we would all have to go on principle (and name) alone.

In the meantime we'll just watch them mangle a Guns N' Roses epic:

HA! Did you hear that, Axl, you dick? Fresno totally knows like only one line from your incredibly too long epic song, November Rain. "Sometimes you needs sometimes....everybody needs some times... everybody needs some...on your owwwn."

Wanna kick ass, Axl? Wanna get in the ring? Do you know that you can love me when there's no one else to blame? (Are these vague Axl Rose lyric references doing anything for anybody? No? Alright, we'll stop.)

Awesome Fresno Blog To Watch: 31 Days Of Fresno

We are in day 4 of the 31 Days Of Fresno blog and we are hooked. If you haven't heard about it yet, it's a blog started by NoTown Roller Derby girl and kickass mom, Kim "Burrrrly" Schuller. She hopes it'll convince Fresnans to become the Fresnoptimus that she has become.

Kim had a great start, blogging about the rarely mentioned Kearney Boulevard. Day two is a shout out to Fresno roller derbyness. Day three points out how crafty Fresnans are. And day four, Kim manages to put a positive spin on our fog - which we agree with. In fact we'd love Kopi to explain to us sometime how the fog manages to make things seem quieter - so cool.

If you want to get in on the action, become a fan of 31 Days Of Fresno on Facebook and write your own thingy or make a comment on the blog. All Fresnotastic stuff.

We just wonder what's going to happen after the the 31 days are up!? Suck.

Fresno: Home of the Bloggiest Moment Of The Week

Fresnans. We love to hear our name mentioned. Doesn't matter if it's negative or not, it gives us a woody every time. Unfortunately, it's usually negative.

Take the USA Today article on Monday. It was a write up on Fresno creating its own brand and how we're marketing ourselves to Fresnans and the world. Cool, this sounds like we finally got a positive piece about us.

Nope.

The writer [Valerie "Fresno Hater" Gibbons] manages to keep it negative, depicting Fresno as hell on earth and ignoring our positive qualities. Shit.

Well dammit if that doesn't create a bloggy storm of posts from Donald Munro to this guy and Barry Falke and James Collier and so on. Then us Fresnans started getting a sense of humor about the whole branding thing (kinda like we and still do about being ranked #55, making us the dumbest city) and started making our own brand tags.

Our choices:

"Fresno: Your Dad Got Laid Here Once"
"Fresno: We Eat Corndogs And Jump Off Shit"
"Fresno: California's Creepy Uncle"

Other folks were coming up with better ones on Twitter all week but we just can't take the time to find them right now. Leave them in the comments if ya got one, we love hearing them.

*Photo stolen from JillStanek.com

Fresno Haters Are Just A Bunch Of Idiots And Racists

We've grown very weary of battling Fresno Haters through the bloggy years. We remember some titanic ones on Fresno Famous - sadly we can't find them anymore to link to.

So, we were feeling like not bothering posting about the poorly written USA Today article. But did you read the comments from the online version? Holy shit, there are some racist mother fuckers around.... and Republican Bashers, Christian Haters, People That Don't Trust Branding, Arm... Pit... Not Likers?

And here we thought all the Mexican haters had all moved to Boise and Portland at this point.

You know who doesn't hate Fresno or Mexicans (probably)? Lars from Metallica. It's kinda random, we know, but just check this out for the first few minutes:

We say, write all the negative articles you want. Call us any body part that comes to mind (We say Fresno is the "Gut of California" - think about it). Don't care. That's because we know how awesome it is, flaws and all, and no weakass reporter or Jay Leno joke is ever going to change our opinion on that.

Dudes, Somebody Please Get Us An Invite To A Third Floor 'Balcony Party' At Iron Bird Lofts

In case you missed the news, the Iron Bird Lofts in Downtown Fresno are finished enough to have people start moving in. In fact, this weekend they had an open house so Fresnans could see the downtown views (like the above pic Kiel from Archop shot) for themselves and maybe think about having one of their own.

Very cool that Fresnans have several loft living options in the Downtown Triangle, with more to come. Guess Fresno is not just suburbia sprawling crazyness, after all.

The Fresno Podcasters Syndicate: We've Stalked Every Podcast In Town For Your Benefit

It's been too long since we've checked in with Fresno's podcasters. So let's set aside some time and spend the day listening to our favorite form of local indie entertainment:

THE TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC: It's the 80th episode (awesome) for TD and the normal gaming talk starts at Modern Warfare 2, but eventually veers off into a Twilight tangent (terrible). Plus, there are TD bloopers - and here we always thought podcasts were one big blooper. TD Episode 80.

THE MARRIED GAMERS: Fresno's favorite gamer couple are back with their 139th episode (holy crap!). In this one, they try and determine the best video game of the year with the associate editor of the Gamer Informer, plus other nerdy exploits (which we fully support). MG Episode 139.

THE VIEW LOOKS GOOD FROM HERE, FRESNO: It's about time Adam and Ed go METAL! and what better way to do it that with Fresno's butt-metalists, Trumpet Solo. METALLL! TVLGFHF Episode 40.

STRANGERS WITH COMICS: More awesome nerdness with a discussion about Starship Troopers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a comics rundown and more. SWC Episode 108.

REDWAVE: We get a full podcast-y build up of Fresno State's Saturday New Mexico Bowl matchup against Wyoming (if you can build up that game, you've got talent, friends). Redwave Dec 9th.

THE OVERDUBS: Estranged Overdubs' band member, Justin Landis, does some storytellin' from Sandpoint, ID and then plays us all a song. Overdubs Episode 30.

DUMB DRUM: It's a little older but that doesn't make it any less listenable as the Dumb Drum camp do post game for Swedefest 4, Late Update's... update is talked up, Dead Days' John Rios is hanging out along with Brenda from Doctored Designs. The DUmb Episode 19.

DOGBYTE: Not to be outdone by Redwave, Dogbyte breakdowns Fresno State's Illinois victory and gets us set for the Wyoming game. Dogbyte Episode 13.

FLOWING WITH FAMOUS: A new episode that was recorded at Fresno's first Etsy inspired event is coming later this week (complete with really bad engineering by us). But for now there's a cool one with artists that took part in the whole Neighborhood Thrift Mural painting and ensuing controversy. Flowing With Muralists.

DIRTY DOWDY: A relatively new podcast on the scene but they've already got a lot of shows under their belt. The latest is with a comedian, a ranter and is almost two hours long. Epic. DD December 8th.

DORKTOWN: This one is all ours, which enables us to say that it sucks right now, but we plan to improve (you know, one day). We should have two new episodes out by the end of the week, but for now you can listen to the last one with the awesome Fay Wrays complete with frontman Ben playing songs for us live. Dorktown Episode 77.

*If you know of another podcast with Fresno ties, let us in on it by commenting or sending an email to mike@thefresnan.com.

Fresno Etsy Especial's 'Cirque Du Noel' Is Tonight

 

If you're like us, the first time you saw this word etsy, you thought "What the hell is an etsy?" Well, Famous Whitewater already gave the full rundown on the Fresno version, so go check that out - we'll wait here for ya.

Cool huh? Artsy craftsy local buying and making and stuff. Looks like an interesting and different event they have going on tonight at the Big Red Church - the flier says it all... almost. We will be out there with our own table, recording a new episode of Flowing With Famous with our podcasting pal, Famous Whitewater.

So stop by our table (should be there during the six o'clock hour) and tell us we suck, and maybe you'll get on the podcast.

 

Fresno Famous Needs Help... with its awards

As we near the end of the year, it becomes time for the inevitable 'best of' lists. Around Fresno, we have three of significance:

• Fresno's Best Magazine Ad Payer Awards.
• The Fresno Bee Choice Awards.
• Famous Choice Awards.

Actually, the last one there, Fresno Famous' awards (the coolest one), doesn't come out for another couple months or so. But, right now, Famous Whitewater is asking for your help. Help in making the Famous Choice Awards better... or at least more suited to your interests.

So check out last year's categories, then go on over and add a comment with your suggestion on what else you'd like to see covered.

Our suggestions:

• Best Local Beard.
• Best Town Drunk.
• Most Popular DUI Checkpoint Spot.
• Best Blog With Fresnan In The Title.

A Fresno Christmas Beats A Clovis Christmas, Anyday

Saturday night officially officially began the Christmas season in Fresno with the walk down Christmas Tree Lane. People say that the Christmas display up in North Clovis is better... those people like crack too.

Sure, the Clovis one may beat CTL as a straight up light display, but nothing beats Christmas Tree Lane. Nothing. The pine trees, the nostalgia, the music, the old school string lights, the Optimus Prime cut-out... alright that one sucks, but the rest of it rules.

And now, here is some classic Christmas Tree Lane ambient sound that we captured on Saturday to solidfy our point: X-Mas Lane audio

 

Central Valley Talk Is For Digital DieHards

While we still wait for Central Valley Talk to get on U Verse or Comcast or something, the folks at CVT keep cycling in new shows and broadcasting for the digital attena and website folks. Their latest new show comes from the Die Hard crew. We're guessing this one will have a lot to do with local music given that's a big part of what they're about. Sounds potentially good to us.

 

*Flier stolen from Mike Oz' week ahead post.

Bullard Victory A Victory For All Of Fresno Unified

On Friday night, the Bullard High Football team kicked Clovis West's ass. In the process becoming the lone remaining Fresno area team still playing (and still undefeated).

This is a cool thing, but not for obvious reasons like a great year for the players and coach Arax. It's a cool thing because Bullard and the Fresno Unified needed this.

Needed to show all those Bullard, and other Fresno Unified refuges, that maybe they made a mistake. Made a mistake in selling out and moving north to Clovis Unified (Clovis West especially). A mistake abandoning Bullard and Fresno Unified in favor of perceived better football programs and schools.

Much repsect to those parents that stuck with Bullard when they could have taken the easy way out by heading to The NE.

Show Fresno Natives A Good Time This Weekend!

Heyyyy, happy Thanksgiving and junk, Fresnan reader. And we owe you a big thanks for reading this badly proofread slop all year. We still consider this cityblog to be in "beta mode", thereby giving us an excuse to suck. Thanks for sticking around, one day maybe we'll spring for a logo or some shit.

Hope you have fun with the returning Fresno natives this weekend, whether that's hanging out at Livingstones, Silver Dollar (where they serve Thanksgiving dinner all year long), Audie's (that's Club Fred to you returning Fresnans), Elbow Room, Landmark or all of the above.

We'll be back by Friday morning to give you some ideas on where to bring your returning Fresnans in case you haven't figured it out already. Early heads-up: Monster hockey at Selland and local music at Tokyo Garden will be your best best.

Major respect to all you Fresnans that work in retail, we know how suckass-y Friday will be and how tough you grocery folk have had it the past few days.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, FRESNANS! 

The Evening Post: Mountain Lion In NE Fresno...maybe

Woodward Park had a possible mountain lion sighting today. Kinda cool actually, knowing that kind of wildlife is roaming the SJ riverbed, right below us (yes yes, as long as it doesn't ATTACK, we know, jezzz). It does make you think twice about going down the SJ river-trail though. 

So what could Fresno do to make people feel safe from mountain lions roaming our trails? Hire something to patrol Woodward Park that would scare away a mountain lion, that's what.

But who would that be?: Pat Hill's Fu Manchu. 

And we think the confrontation would go a little something like this:

Wooo Hooo, Party! Yeahhhh! Fresno Goes Late Night

Fresno bars and clubs now have the opportunity to stay open later, even until four in the morning if they're downtown. Problem with that one is, there are only a couple places downtown that could take advantage of that.

*Video stolen from Christine Park of Channel 30.

We're Coming For You, Portland: Fresno A Little More Bike Friendly

Fresno did a cool little thing recently and turned Fruit (from Dakota to Clinton) from a four lane to a two lane, turning the center into a turn lane and creating an uninterrupted bike lane.

It's nice, gives the street a more chill, neighborhood feel and gives bikers an alternative to going down a dicey Palm Avenue. More importantly, it gets us one step closer to being as biker awesome as those uppity Portland fools.